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This is the transcript for the episode "Guys' Night Out" of the The Two Phantoms.

Script FeedEdit

(The episode begins with Danny and Danielle fighting Lunch Lady)
Danielle: What do you want, you meat-controlling freak?
Lunch Lady: Something to get my mind off that box-loading freak.
Danny: You mean the Box Ghost?
Lunch Lady: That's right. He thought I loved meat far more than him. Which reminds me, what do you and that goth girl do when you get into a lovers quarrel?
Danny: First of all, I don't know, and second, that's none of your business!
Danielle: Look, Lunch Lady, either we can send you back home or we can make you go.
Lunch Lady: Hmm... I suppose I'll go home to get some rest. (throws some meat into Danny and Danielle's mouths, they spit it out)
Danny: What is this? "Grade F" meat?
Lunch Lady: Probably. I'm outta here! (disappears)
(Spectra watches from afar)
Spectra: Well, my last attempt at capturing Danny's DNA for my perfect human form didn't work out so well when he put his father's DNA instead. I probably should've taken his mother's DNA instead. Oh well. Hopefully, once I get a hold of Danny's DNA, my second human form will be complete, and not fat, and Rem will be even more in love with me than ever, and then we'll become the most evil ghost couple in all of the Ghost Zone! Now, to wait for the perfect moment.
(Meanwhile, in the Ghost Zone)
Box Ghost: I can't believe this!
Walker: Yeah, the Box Ghost must be taking this pretty hard.
Skulker: When Ember broke up with me, I honestly didn't mind it. In fact, I barely even remember that we used to date.
Rem: (chuckles) Remember...
Skulker: What? What's so funny?
Rem: I'm sorry, it's just that my name is Rem, and my cousin's name is Ember. When you put the two names together...
Skulker, Box Ghost and Walker: WE GET IT!
Rem: Okay, okay! Sheesh! Check out what I stole from the Fenton Works. (pulls out the Specter Deflector)
Walker: What is that?
Skulker: That appears to be some sort of belt.
Rem: Guys, it's the Fenton Specter Deflector. Normally, it can be used to repel and weaken any ghost that comes in direct contact of the person wearing it, and it can also weaken ghosts. Let me demonstrate.
(Rem puts the Specter Deflector on the Box Ghost)
Box Ghost: (screaming) The pain! The unspeakable pain! MAKE IT STOP!!! (tries to throw a box, but it falls) Why can't I throw my boxes?!
Rem: (as he takes the belt off the Box Ghost) I told you, it weakens ghosts, and it also weakens their power.
Walker: Hmm, this seems like a useful invention.
Rem: I've also got these Fenton Stockades. I don't know what they do, but I've got a plan with them. We should do something about Amity Park's female population. We're going to capture Spectra and the Lunch Lady and imprison them in these things.
Box Ghost: Spectra is hot!
Rem: What?
Box Ghost: Sorry. I just really like her too.
Rem: But you have Lunch Lady! Spectra is my girlfriend! Every time you're near her, your nose bleeds green stuff!
Box Ghost: I can't help it, guys.
Skulker: (gets an idea) Gentlemen, no female walks out on us! You might wanna bring those stockades and that Deflector belt, Rem. We're goin' to Amity Park.
(Theme song starts)
(Theme song ends)
(At Fenton Works)
Maddie: Okay, Jazz, Danielle, as you know we are going to Vlad's mayor mansion for a vacation. So I expect you be on your best behavior.
Jazz: Okay.
Danielle: Nope, forget it, I'm not going.
Danny: Why?
Danielle: Because, cuz, it reminds me of that horrible creep that is my father.
Jack: You mean Vlad?
Danielle: Yes!
Jazz: Don't worry, he's not around anymore to woo mom, and besides, he's in outer space, probably catching some "space madness", if you catch my drift.
Maddie: Please, Danielle, you have to go with us.
Danielle: Well... okay. But only because I have nothing else to do.
Danny: This also gives me, Sam and Tucker the opportunity to hang out with my dad, although we don't trust him.
Jack: Don't worry, Danny, I promise not to break or touch anything.
Tucker: Do you think we should trust him?
Danny: I doubt it. Fenton Blasters, you have to protect my dad, and DON'T let him break anything.
Download: Normally, we don't take orders from teenagers like you.
Maddie: Just do what Danny told you.
Thrash: Yes, ma'am.
Vid: You can count on us, Mrs. Fenton.
Sam: So, Danny, what do you say me, Tucker and you head down to Nasty Burger?
Danny: Sure.
Tucker: I don't see why not.
(They head off to do so. Meanwhile, Maddie drives her van to Vlad's mayor mansion)
Maddie: It's so nice to get away from the boys for once.
Jazz: Yeah, we get to have all the fun at Vlad's place, or not.
Danielle: (her ghost sense goes off) I've got a bad feeling about this.
Maddie: Danielle, I thought I told you to behave.
Danielle: I'm not talking about the mansion. It's...something else. We'll deal with it later.
Jazz: Yeah.
(Cut back to Amity Park. Spectra has the Deflector around her waist and the door of the stockades is slammed shut in front of her. We see Rem locking Spectra inside)
Spectra: This isn't funny, Rem!
Skulker: So, what's the deal with these stockades?
Rem: Oh, it's simple, unless I let them out and take off the Specter Deflector, the ghost girls will disappear in 12 hours.
Skulker: Hmm, that sounds oddly familiar.
Rem: Yeah, it sure does, Skulker. But this time, we're planning to get rid of all the women in Amity Park.
Box Ghost: So, where is Lunch Lady? She owes me a box for her rotten meat!
Walker: I've heard that she's at the Nasty Burger. Let's go.
(They head off to do so. At the Nasty Burger itself...)
Sam: Has anyone noticed that they're serving nothing but meat lately?
Danny: (deadpan) What, are you gonna start a protest again to make every meal suitable for vegetarians?
Sam: No, I'm just saying.
Tucker: Well, the quality of the burgers here at Nasty Burger leaves a lot to be desired.
Danny: This restaurant certainly lives up to it's name.
(They don't notice the Lunch Lady enter the building through a wall, with the Box Ghost following her)
Box Ghost: Well, well, well. Looks like you couldn't get me off your back after all.
Lunch Lady: I wasn't counting on getting you off my back entirely.
(Box Ghost throws a box at Lunch Lady, who throws meat into it)
(While this happens, Danny's ghost sense goes off)
Danny: Great, the Box Ghost and Lunch Lady fighting, just what I wanted to see. I'm going ghost! (goes ghost)
Tucker: (grabs Danny's shoulder) Whoa-whoa-whoa! Hold on, dude! You can't just go rushing into battle like that.
Danny: (sigh) Alright, let's see where this goes next.
(After a few minutes of fighting, Box Ghost finally wins)
Lunch Lady: I have to admit, despite how you tend to think, you still know how to fight. (Box Ghost pulls out the Deflector) Hey, what are you doing with that belt?
Box Ghost: Locking you up, of course! (puts the Deflector around Lunch Lady's waist, and pushes her with a box into the Fenton Stockade, and Skulker slams the door in front of her)
(Rem locks it and Danny is surprised at this)
Danny: What the heck did you do? And is that my father's stockade?!
Rem: We've delivered payback to our girlfriends, and yes, I stole that stockade from your dad.
Danny: Now I'm suspicious, what are you guys up to now?
Rem: I think you're about to find out.
(Skulker activates the Fenton Stockades, Spectra and Lunch Lady scream as they're being electrocuted inside, Rem plugs in his keyboard and plays on it. The ghost girls disappear, as do the human females, including Sam)
Danny: NO! NOT SAM!
Rem: Oh, get over it. You know you love my cousin better.
Danny: Actually, I think Ember is on the same league as Sam for me.
Tucker: Danny, we need to get back to your house to tell your dad about this.
(Danny and Tucker run out of Nasty Burger. Meanwhile, at Vlad's mayor mansion)
Jazz: (looking out the windows) Hmm, that's odd. Every woman in Amity Park is gone except for us. How come?
Danielle: Beats me.
Maddie: It seems that Vlad's mayor mansion is equipped with some of the same technology as the Fenton Works. Something must have caused every woman to disappear, but Vlad's mansion was immune to it, so therefore, we did not get affected. If Vlad was still there, I would say that it's clever of him to install this anti-ghost wall surrounding the mansion.
Danielle: And then marry him?
Maddie: Well, not exactly.
(Suddenly, Danielle's ghost sense goes off and she peeks out of the window and sees Ember outside)
Maddie: (gasp) A ghost! I'll take care of this!
Danielle: No, mom, wait!
(Maddie, Jazz and Danielle show up, with Maddie ready to fight against Ember)
Maddie: Ember, stay away from my babies!
Ember: Whoa, chill, Mrs. Fenton!
Danielle: Yeah, let me explain. Ember's not our enemy. We can trust her.
(Maddie looks confused)
Ember: I know we used to be enemies in the past, but I'm good now. I once saved the day during Rem's worldwide concert a few weeks ago.
Maddie: Really? What's going on?
Ember: Rem, Skulker, Walker and the Box Ghost have captured Spectra and Lunch Lady. They'll be gone in less than 12 hours. We have to defeat them and bring back the female population to Amity Park.
Maddie: I see. So, Ember, how are you and my son doing?
Ember: What?!
Jazz: You know, my brother has taken a huge liking towards you after you became good.
Ember: Oh, yeah, right... I don't know. I honestly think Danny's kinda cute.
Danielle: So, mom, do you approve?
Maddie: Well... I'm not sure. He already has Sam. I suppose that Ember might be good for my son too, even if she formerly wasn't.
Ember: Anyways, let's go. We need to inform the Fenton Blasters and Danny's father.
Danielle: But we need disguises. I have a feeling that men outside will not give us a warm welcome.
Jazz: Good idea.
(Back in Amity Park, Jack is playing some video games with the Fenton Blasters)
Download: When it comes to these kinds of games, I'm a pro.
Jack: Boom, headshot! Oh, come on!
Vid: Too slow, Jack.
Jack: You're bad luck for me, guys. You know, when I play these games with Danny, I always win!
(Danny and Tucker burst in through the front door followed by Maddie, Danielle, Ember and Jazz, who are in disguises consisting of trench coats and fedora hats)
Jack: AAAGH! The goverment's here! Quick, everyone, hide!
Maddie: No, Jack, it's us.
Jack: Maddie? Oh, thank goodness it's you. I thought the goverment came in to arrest us all.
Danny: Don't be silly, dad. We need to talk to you about something.
Tucker: Skulker, Walker, the Box Ghost and Rem McLain have gotten rid of almost the entire female population of Amity Park! There are possessed people running in the streets.
Jack: Sad to hear that. But wait, why are Maddie, Jazz and Ember still here?
Danny: He said "ALMOST the entire female population of Amity Park", so this means mom, Jazz and Ember are okay because they were not affected.
Ember: I was in the Ghost Zone at the time, if you were wondering.
Download: But what are we gonna do? They've probably already enslaved half the male population by now.
Vid: No problem, I have a plan. Me, Mrs. Fenton, Jazz, Danielle and Ember will stay here, while each of you boys fight off a ghost: Download will take the Box Ghost, Tucker will take Skulker, Thrash and Danny will take Rem, and Mr. Fenton will take Walker. Do I make myself clear?
Danny: Yes, Vid.
Vid: Good, now head out there and take care of those ghosts.
Download: You got it.
(Download, Thrash, Danny, Jack and Tucker head out of the Fenton Works)
(At the park, they split up and Jack runs into Walker who turns to face him)
Walker: Are you up for a little rodeo?
Jack: Uhh, maybe? I don't remember how a rodeo goes.
Walker: Well, that gives me an advantage.
(Walker unleashes a stampede of bulls that chase after Jack, who runs away screaming)
(Meanwhile, with Box Ghost and Download)
Box Ghost: Let's see if you can stack up my boxes.
Download: No sweat! I can do this with my eyes closed.
(Box Ghost puts down some boxes for Download to stack. He shuts his eyes and picks up one. A few minutes later, his stacking is almost complete but when he puts the last one on top the entire stack falls down)
Download: Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
Box Ghost: You can't stack boxes as perfectly as me! I'm the Box Ghost!
Download: (groans) Who would've thought such a harmless ghost could be so hard to beat?
(Danny and Thrash get into their Rem back-up singer disguises)
Danny: Okay, you ready for this?
Thrash: Ready as ever, Danny. I've sung karaoke.
Danny: Hope this pays off.
(Rem plugs his keyboard into some speakers and his lip-syncing music starts playing)
Rem: (singing) Back in October, I used to hear that song... And that song...
Thrash: (singing poorly, alongside Danny, who is singing better, and Rem, who was lip-syncing) It played all day long...
(Rem's music stops, Rem glares at Danny and Thrash, cut to Thrash and Danny bruised up)
Rem: (off-screen) Ugh, this guy sings even worse than Tucker!
Danny: Nice going, Thrash. I thought you said you've sung karaoke!
Thrash: I did, and nobody liked it.
(Cut to Tucker and Skulker)
Tucker: Okay, Skulker, I've got a few questions for you.
Skulker: What kinds of questions?
Tucker: Overly complex ones.
Skulker: Hit me with your best shot.
Tucker: Okay... What do you get when cesium and H2O...
Skulker: An explosion. Cesium has an extreme reaction to water.
Tucker: Okay... The cube of 24 plus the cube of 18...
Skulker: 19656.
Tucker: Dang, you're good.
(Back at Fenton Works)
Danny: Well, ladies, this plan didn't work out.
Download: I got beaten by the Box Ghost!
Maddie, Jazz, Danielle and Vid: Wah wah waaaaah...
Tucker: Skulker answered the questions before I could finish them. It's like he swallowed a calculator and a butt-load of learning books!
Danny: And we wouldn't have sounded so bad if (pointing at Thrash) some people didn't try to sing out of tone!
Jazz: Sheesh, I thought I was bad, but this? Wow.
Jack: Let's face it, this plan failed.
Vid: Wait, I'm getting a reading...
(the ghost boys and the men are outside)
Vid: Okay, time for Plan B.
Jazz: We need to use the Maddie Modulator if we want to bring back all the women to Amity Park.
Danielle: And how are we gonna do that?
(Jazz pulls out Sam's clothes, Vid pulls out a Sam wig, and Maddie pulls out some make-up)
Maddie: Danny, we have to disguise you as Sam.
Danny: Oh no! I'm not doing that! I mean, we may have the same colored hair, but come on!
Jazz: Look, bro, if your girlfriend Sam disguised as you when the male population of Amity Park disappeared once, then you have to repay the favor by disguising as her.
Danny: (sighs) Alright, I'll do it.
(as Maddie, Jazz and Danielle are dressing Danny in drag, finishing the final touches to his Sam costume)
Danny: This is wrong on so many levels...
Jazz: But at least you look beautiful!
Danny: When I'm done with this, I'm gonna need years of therapy.
(With the ghost boys and the men)
Walker and Box Ghost: Give us a 'no'!
Skulker: Give us a 'women'!
Rem: What does that spell?
Men: NO WOMEN!
(Cue Danny showing up behind the men disguised as Sam and wearing the Fenton Phones)
Danny: Okay, I'm in position.
Vid: Ghost Getter #2 is in position. Let's go, Ghost Getter #1.
Maddie: Well, #1 certainly is better than #4 in a team of 3 women.
(back to Danny)
Danny: (poorly imitating Sam's voice) Hey, boys, lookin' good! (climbs up) Anyone caring to join a beautiful girl like me to find some books about romance, or whatever?
Walker: What is this?! (to Box Ghost) I thought the Fenton stockades eliminated all the women!
Box Ghost: Only Spectra and Lunch Lady were locked up. (referring to Rem) It's his keyboard!
Rem: Hey!
(Danny feigns concern and backs away)
Danny: Well, I'd love to stay and watch you boys fight, but I'm scared of chipping a nail, and, uh, I've got to get to a... uh... beauty salon, or something. (runs off)
Walker: Skulker, prepare the stockades. And this time, get it right.
Skulker: I'm on it. (to Rem) Better prepare the keyboard again in case there's any other woman you've missed.
(Skulker pulls out the Fenton Stockades, Rem plugs in the keyboard and plays a tune. A music wave slowly approaches Danny. Vid looks out the binoculars and commands)
Vid: Now!
Maddie: Time to dish out some justice...again.
(The modulator hits Rem's music wave and destroys it. Every woman slowly starts appearing in Amity Park. Star, Sam and Paulina show up last. They glare at all men, including Dash and Kwan, holding pitch forks and other blunt objects)
Paulina: I really appreciate you showing your masculinity levels, but you need to seriously put those things away.
Box Ghost: What's happening? I see...women!
Walker: Look.
(camera zooms in on Danny, who takes off his Sam wig and wipes off his make-up, then runs off. The Fenton Blasters show up and break the Stockades open, setting Spectra and Lunch Lady free. Jack, Maddie and Jazz show up, with the latter equipped with a Fenton Peeler. Sam runs up to Danny)
Danny: Sam!
Sam: Danny, it's so good to see you again! Why are you wearing my clothes?
Danny: It's a long story. Right now, we've got a group of ghost boys to eliminate.
Danielle: Right behind you, cuz.
Ember: Me too.
Walker: We've been tricked!
Box Ghost: Skulker, try again!
(Skulker is knocked out by Jack's blaster, Danielle uses her ghostly wail to knock the Box Ghost away)
Danielle: Ugh, that ghostly wail really hurt my throat. I need to use it less often.
Maddie: Wow, Jack, you're starting to get pretty competent for once.
Jack: Thanks, honey.
(Spectra and Lunch Lady join the fight, Spectra takes Rem, while Lunch Lady throws meat in every direction)
Danny: This fight kinda needs a song to fit the mood. (to Ember) Ember, some action music, please?
Ember: You got it, Inviso-Bill.
Danny: Stop calling me that!
Ember: Sorry.
(Ember snaps her fingers, Ember's band shows up, they begin playing the song "Phantoms by the Zero", which plays over the course of the fight between the Fentons and the ghosts)
Ember: (singing) I used to be your so called "useless" cousin,
I never came to bite you until my former lover stabbed me in the back.
Then I found a new friend who is better than Skulker by a dozen,
And now I've changed sides and preparing with my friends to throw you in the sack.
Phantoms by the zero!
Sam: (backup singing) Phantoms by the zero!
Ember: (singing) Now we'll prove that Phantom is the hero!
(as Ember sung, each of the boys dealt with the ghosts, Jack puts a red cape on Walker, redirecting the bulls from earlier, Download throws heavy boxes on the Box Ghost, Thrash and Danny duel Rem with guitars and break his keyboard, and Tucker overrides Skulker's body. When this is all done, they suck the ghosts into the Fenton Thermos. Meanwhile. Spectra rips a bit of Maddie's hair, and adds it to "Replacement DNA", getting rid of Jack's DNA from her old body. Sam uses the Fenton Peeler and scares Spectra, then Maddie sucks her into the Fenton Thermos. Vid deals with the Lunch Lady by using a flamethrower to overcook Lunch Lady's meat and throws it back at her, then she is sucked into the Fenton Thermos by Jazz. Ember's band finishes playing, and then leaves)
Ember: Good night, Amity Park!
Maddie: We did it!
Danny: And Ember was pretty helpful with her music.
Ember: Thanks, I'm always glad to help.
Danielle: What do you say we all head home and play some video games together?
Download: Sure.
Vid: I'm in.
Sam: Definitely.
Thrash and Danny: Sounds great.
Jack: So, Maddie, how was your time in Vlad's mayor mansion until those ghosts killed your vacation?
Maddie: Pretty good. We didn't disappear, thanks to Vlad installing anti-ghost walls around his mansion. I gotta say, he's a genius. If he wasn't out there floating in outer space, I probably would've dumped you and marry him.
Jack: What?! Maddie!
Maddie: Just kidding, Jack! I would never leave you.
(everyone laughs, cue ending title card)

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